Monday, December 22, 2008

The wonder of neighbors

How do you be a neighbor? I get the first part really well - introductions. The next two parts I have down, pat! - small talk and helping ... what then? How does people become friends, ever? This has been the most frustrating thing of my adult life. I don't remeber ever having to work at making friends. Now, I can't seem to have a friend for the life of me, let alone neighbors who become long-life friends ... or at least friends I remain in contact with after I move a place. I'm working on that though. The last place I lived was the most amazing place of fellowshipping and friendship rearing I've ever witnessed and been a part of. So much of it has to do with a very few people who moved in within the last year or so of my life there. I hope to always remain in contact, but even then, how do you foster a real friendship from that?

Aside from that, I was so touched the other day. The last time I posted it was snowing. I needed to shovel the walk and drive after it had dumped about six or so inches before work. I have been able to meet most of the people in my cul-de-sac and have made it through the small talk part. As I was shoveling, a neighbor got stuck in the snow on the road, trying to get home. Another neighbor and I tried helping, he being more buff than I pushed the car up the hill. After, she came down and we chatted for awhile. I went back to shoveling and two different neighbors, one of which I helped shovel his walk the week before and another one I had yet to meet, came over and helped me shovel the last half of the walk and drive. I love that neighborly stuff. I can really see myself enjoying this new area and neighborhood.

Another neighbor to the street over, we've helped furnish her new house with a lot of the stuff we've been getting rid of from my grandmother and mother. That's been fun. The daughters are adorable.

But what's next? How do you "do" stuff together? Make friends? Visit? Do you always have to have a "playdate"? Do you always use your kids as an excuse? Do you always have to bring over a plate of cookies? Do you just call and chat? Any suggestions???? I could really use the help. This is the part in my life that is the most frustrating and lacking, I think. -Very lonely!!!

1 comment:

Liana said...

I have had the same problem in the past. I agree that the village is an amazing place to make friends, but I also worry about making new friends in the future. One thing I have discovered, is that helping people is nice, but showing them that you trust them enough to ask for help builds really strong friendships. So the next time you need a friend, instead of using your kids as an excuse, try running out of sugar or borrowing a kitchen appliance that you don't have. I love it when the neighbors ask to borrow things, it makes me feel needed. That's how I know we're friends not just neighbors.