So, it has been a while. My well of creative things to talk about, thoughts to jot down or happenings to go over is about empty. Maybe because I fell into a hole the last couple weeks and decided to stay there until my body decided it was done being lethargic.

Now that the weather is good again, I think a lot about starting my running up again - I'm such a wimp, if it is cold outside, I don't go running. In the fall it is different, I stop when the snow is consistent on the ground; however, the spring is harder to get started because the cold is so much colder than my warm comfy bed. We have a treadmil, but yea-right. I hate that thing. It's worse than running in a circle. No change, no sense of going anywhere, just watching the numbers go up on the digital reader - that is painful to do!!! Power90 for me was excellent, but since we've moved, we still don't have the network up or a place to do it - our living room area is smaller, go figure.

Our happy anniversary was on the 10th. That was most excellent. Two years down and 56 more to go ... or so. We are celebrating by taking our much needed excursion away from the kids and life for a week on our annual trip. We are headed to the East coast - can't wait! When we got married we decided to take a trip each anniversary, instead of exchange gifts or do the dinner and movie date thing. It is great to plan and look forward to. However, our "deal" is slightly being amended. Every year, instead of JUST us, once in a while, we are taking the kids. I'm ok with that, in fact, we celebrated our happy anniversary as a family, too. It is where it all began, ya know. So we all went swimming and reflected on the most incredible day that changed everything! It was really cool. Next year, Gamers Convention of the Year!! YAY??? My husband's idea!!

Some info on the boy of the house:

My son is amazing. He's always been my inspiration to be a better person. Something about him makes me feel like I need to be worthy to be his mom. He was entrusted to me for his care and safe return.

*Is a great big brother

*Loves to make baby sister laugh

*Doesn't like to share mom

*Loves to wrestle and jump - on anything

*Loves to laugh

*Is such a good listener when asked to do something

*Loves to learn

*Hates "no" yet we don't say it often

*Loves to have friends over

*Enjoys his own time/NEEDS his own space

*Can be cuddly, especially during prayers

*KNOWS he's cute

*Making silly jokes

*Has a super-hero complex

*Can't wait for the Batcave to be done.

*Loves to read and enjoys homeschool

*Enjoys swimming

*Learning to ride a bike confidently

A bit about the lil' one

So, my daughter ... I am memorializing her leaps and bounds. A proud mother must sometime, somewhere and since this is my journal - I suck actually writing - Who heard of manuscript anyway, lame. I'm memorializing her here for everyone!

**She has six crooked teeth - thanks dad, thanks mom.

**She's walking!!! Before she could stand.

**She LOVES to climb into - well, anything, laundry baskets, puzzle boxes, any nook and cranny that she can

**She LOVES daddy - OMIG, I can't hold a candle to that man.

**She is the happiest, giggliest little thing I've ever known.

**She loves to laugh. Everything is a game to her.

**She knows sign language - picked it up FAST - more, food, all gone, hi (of course)

**She bonks your head thinking you are giving her kisses and she is giving them back.

**Her first word was HI - Daddy and strangers get that one a lot. When she wakes up and you come to get her out of bed, she says it with a BIG crooked grin.

**She has learned screaming doesn't get her attention - THANK HEAVEN.

**She tries to put on socks and shoes like big brother.

**She talks, all day, on the phone, already!!!! Luckily it has a pull string, not a communication wire into the wall.

**She is always hungry.

**She gets offended easily, a bump here, a funny look there - it's all a personal attack.

It's true ... I want money

Growing up, we had the basic needs, right. Didn't most of us? Now that I'm an adult, married, with children, an education ... la, da, da ... I'm ready to have money. I'm ready to have choices. More than just the basics and then a little. My husband is still getting his degree and I'm happy being at home. Am I the only one done with only maintaining our finances? Don't get me wrong, we have no business having the things we do with us still in school and for us still being young. For those things, I am grateful. But, I'm greedy. I'll admit. I still want more. Is that so wrong?

It's an internal conflict I have. I have had to grow up quickly most of my life and now that I am grown up, I still want to be grown up. What a dilemma. So what do I do? I'm also impatient. I know things will work out ... eventually, but call it instant gratification, call it greed, impatience, I don't care. I just want to be able to look at the books after everything is paid and think, "It's great to have such freedom in spending." Instead of, "O, can I justify this extra expense?" I want to be able to have --- security. My spending habits aren't lavish, certainly not. I don't buy a lot of clothes, nails, hair things or styles, makeup, movies even, nothing more than the basics anyway. But to have the safety net of extra how would that be?

Don't get me wrong, we aren't going bankrupt, we aren't broke, just not nested in a career, yet that matches our earning potential. You know what I really think it is ... these feelings of never being able to get out of this low income tax bracket has increased significantly since the realization of my mother's retirement. She made more than any single mother with an English degree could make these days. That hurts. Not only that, she has nothing to show for it. I am so scared of earning and not having - not the material things, but the safety net - the savings, the investments ... etc. I'm so scared, especially with the economy getting worse and the unemployment rising and rising and rising and our friends and family being laid-off, some more than once, that we'll never survive. It is the pit-f-the-stomach fear that we aren't safe. The times will get worse before they get better. I know this, it is part of the cycle of our social structure, but I don't want to be part of it. I am too easily afraid of "the unknown." How does someone get over that??

Marriage beyond death!

This Valentine's Day was amazing. Not because my husband and I got to sneak away from our kids, we didn't. Not because we got to exchange expensive and extravagant gifts, we didn't. Not because we got any romantic, we didn't. We spent the bulk of this weekend driving! We drove the eight hours it takes to Colorado. We left at 5pm on Friday and arrived at our hotel at 2am Saturday morning. The forecast predicted our entire route covered in snow! It wasn't! The only issues we had were outside of Cheyenne when the roads became covered in fog, flurries and black ice. It was scary, but we made it safely.

The next morning, we woke up at 8am and were able to go to the Denver, CO LDS temple. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We believe in doing work (baptisms, sealings and other work) for the dead. My father died in 2005 before he could be baptized. He was on his way and suddenly died of a heart attack. My stepmother, needless to say, was devastated. She continued on the way towards being sealed (married for all time and eternity) to my father. The day finally came and with my father's birthday today, it was the greatest timing for her. The excitement and joy of being able to live, not only with our Savior and our Heavenly Father again, but to live for - literally, ever, with the one you love is priceless. So, we came to support her and enjoy the greatest gift we have been given on this earth. The ceremony was wonderful. There was so much love and spirit in the room. I know my father was there. He wouldn't miss it for the world.

I was able to see family, again, too. Family I always wish I belonged to and in a way, always have. It took this trip, unfortunately, to help me realize, I really do belong. I really do have a family in them. And to know that my father loves me, really loves me. What a great realization after so many years of wondering why, who and how ...

The rest of the trip was great! We were able to stay at mom's house the rest of Saturday and Sunday. We left Sunday evening at 5pm again and made it home at 1am again. It was the best drive home. Again, the forecast predicted snow storms and yet, we had clear and I mean CLEAR skies! We saw more stars than I can ever remember. I even got to see the constellation Scorpio (I think). I have never seen any other than Orion's belt - and I don't know where the rest of him is, and the little and big dipper. Those last two are the easiest to spot!

Anyway, I am so grateful for my faith, my Saviors sacrifice, Joseph Smith's willingness to do the work needed on this earth to establish the Church of Jesus Christ, again on this earth. I'm so grateful for the knowledge I have of this life, the before and the after. I'm so grateful for the love and blessings we receive from such a great God, a loving and kind, just God. I'm so grateful for the atonement and the opportunity I have to be clean to go before God to be judged. I am so grateful for my mom and dad's opportunity to live eternally together in happiness and love, surrounded by those who love them, too. I'm so grateful for mom and who she is and what she brought to my father. I am so grateful to be part of their family. I think THIS is what He ment by JOY!

The day finally came: I was tagged

I've only heard of people getting tagged ... just thought they were those email questions everyone avoids because there are so many renditions of the same thing. I know, I know, synical brood I am. Anyway, I got tagged. Thought I'd see if anyone actually reads my blog. Plus, this one sounds pretty interesting ... We'll see.

8 Things About Me
Here are the Rules:
1) Post rules on your blog
2) Answer the six '8' items
3) Let each person know by leaving them a comment

8 FAVORITE TV SHOWS
1. Scrubs. My kind of synical, sarcasm in a refreshing (and not at all over used) introspective manner.
2. Lost
3. The Office
4. Medium
5. Law & Order: SVU - only one that is on instant watch on Netflix from the beginning, plus I like the combination of the whole process
6. Eureka
7. Bones
8. Dead Like Me - LOVE IT!

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY
1. Homeschool - love to participate in my son's learning. There's nothing like watching that light turn on when all sorts of things connect!
2. Watched a neighbors baby. Cried the whole time. So sad.
3. Wrote an article on Neurosis
4. Turned in my homework assignment
5. Family movie with hot cocoa after the house got picked up. Loves those nights.
6. Played with baby during rest time - she's so darn cute
7. Emmersed myself in my 'soaps' for a couple hrs to take in some non-thinking time
8. Hehehe, doesn't happen often ...

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO
1. Payday
2. Getting old so I can look back at the legacy I am trying to create with the coolest guy around
3. Vacations
4. Those mornings you wake up for a run and can smell the mist on the grass -- gets my blood pumping
5. My husband coming home TO ME!!!
6. Watching my kids grow up
7. Having my career (if it's in the cards) and using my education (somehow)
8. Having my husband's career - or rather his income, muh-ha-ha-ha

8 FAVORITE RESTAURANTS
1. Chez Darin
2. steak joints, ya man!
3. Chez Darin
4. Chez Darin
5. any sushi joint worth it's salt
6. Chez Darin
7. Chez Darin
8. Cafe Rio

8 THINGS ON MY WISH-LIST (I wish ...)
1. To be debt-free (including student loans)
2. To make a difference
3. To travel the world
4. For a happy family
5. To retire early
6. My husband to be happy and not so freaking busy and stressed out.
7. (I don't really wish for a lot ...)
8. (I can't really come up with anymore ... I have things I WANT, is that the same?)

8 PEOPLE I TAG
1. Ashley
2. Zabet
3. Michelle
4. Lena
5. Patricia
6. Allison
7. Melissa
8. Cressida

Baby's first steps

You heard it right!!! My baby, FINALLY took her first steps. She is so funny. She just lets go and starts to walk, like it isn't anything, like she's been doing it forever. I sort of figured she would do it that way. My son took a bit more prompting. She is just like me and her father, she'll do it on her own time and in her own way.

Last week she took two steps towards a stranger!! Last night she took two steps towards Dad. Today, she just let go and took a step towards something, not someone.

Ah, the accomplishments. I'm so grateful I get to be here to see it happen and watch her grow.